WELCOME, my lovelies, to the very first round of voting for Oval Hotness 2014. Before we can set up our bracket and split these bad boys into conferences, we need to narrow down our pool of 43 contenders to a smooth 32. What better way than to have a brutal, bloody elimination round to kick off the entire affair?
However, there is the tiniest twist! As the reigning (men’s division) champ, Teddy Roosevelt gets an automatic pass into round two. So there are 42 Presidents left for you to choose from and 31 slots to fill. Choose wisely! Do you want to see Chester Arthur and Franklin Pierce duke it out? Do you want to see how many awesome Warren GAMALIEL Harding jokes we can make this year? Then you’ve gotta vote these guys in!
The elimination poll will be open until MIDNIGHT (12am CST) Friday, March 14th. Once we have all of our contenders, the sexy battles filled with freedom and powdered wigs will ensue.
Looks like Barack isn’t messing around this year! POTUS #44 came in SECOND PLACE in the 2012 tournament, and this year he clearly wants to join his wife in the HALL OF CHAMPIONS. Watch the throne, Teddy! Barack is COMING FOR YOU.
Since Michelle Obama joined him in the Hall of Champions here at Oval Hotness HQ last year, well … Frankly, Teddy’s been a bit of a handful. Strutting to and fro in his glittery tiara, talking ALL KINDS of mad shit to his fellow POTUSes .. Potii? Potese? You know, that’s neither here nor there. The point is that it’s time for OH 2012 Champ Teddy Roosevelt to DEFEND HIS TITLE. Right, Michelle?
We are embarking on YEAR THREE of this sweet Oval-y Hotness-y tournament, and we’re itching to see if, two years later, you lovely voters still think Theodore Roosevelt is the hottest President we’ve ever had. Dust off your speedos and tuxedos, boys! IT’S TIME TO DUKE IT OUT!
Just like previous years, the 2014 tournament will run in six rounds, with each of our 44 presidents getting eliminated until JUST ONE is crowned the champion. It’s purely based on voting, so YOU, my loves, have a say in which presidents stay and which get tossed to the curb.
Round One (the ELIMINATION POLL) will be posted SATURDAY, MARCH 8TH. Suit up! Gird your loins! Kiss your children good night! Paint me blue and call me Bubba! Fire on the mountain run boys run!